Tag: relationships

Why do we Lie?

Lying destroys relationships and damages the bonds between human beings. The Journal of Intercultural Communication Research (2016) states that “we all lie, but not all lies are the same. People lie to achieve a goal: WE LIE IF [we believe] HONESTY WON’T WORK. Essentially the truth comes naturally, but lying takes effort and a sharp, flexible mind. Lying is a part of the development process, like walking and talking. Children learn to lie between the ages two and five, and

Posted in Depression, General, Marriage & Relationships, Stress & Anxiety, Therapy Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,

Using Pop Culture to Impact Positive Change – Part 2

Welcome back! In Pop Culture Part 1, I discussed how, when connecting with children/youth, I utilize pop culture to: 1) develop and enhance rapport, and 2) gather information in regard to values, traits and indicators of resiliency. Please go to www.psychealth.com if you haven’t had a chance to read Part 1; it would be like watching the Empire Strikes Back without watching Star Wars! In Part 2 I will discuss the third way I have utilized pop culture: to help

Posted in Depression, Family & Parenting, General, Grief, Internet, Personal Growth, Stress & Anxiety, Therapy Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How Are Strong Marriages Like Healthy Gardens?

This is a question that I often put to couples who attend the premarital workshops I present. I like the question because it requires what are called “higher order thinking skills” – a more effective way of engaging new information that simply receiving it in a rote learning format. The answers I receive to this question are often quite insightful. Following are a few of those insights. Successful marriages, like gardens, must be cultivated. What sunlight, soil and water are to

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It’s So Unfair!

When we see two people who are angry with each other, we often find that their argument is about feelings of injustice on a personal level. One or possibly both will become angry because they feel they have been treated unfairly by the other. Each wants justice; it’s part of their human nature. In their minds they believe that if they could just set the record straight or get the other to change their behavior then all will be well

Posted in Marriage & Relationships, Therapy Tagged with: , ,

The Listening Two Step

Listening is like dancing. If you get the steps in the right order there is flow and harmony. If you skip a step or reverse them, someone trips up, often resulting in tension and upset. Within marriage, it can be difficult to listen well. It is easy to “react” to what one hears instead of simply listening. Perhaps this is a skill problem, similar to that of partners on the dance floor who are all left feet. It might be

Posted in General, Marriage & Relationships, Personal Growth, Stress & Anxiety Tagged with: , , , , ,

To Love is to Prune

Psychologist: “You seem to keep a lot of your concerns to yourself. How about opening up more with your spouse?” Client: “I don’t like to make waves.” P: “You mean you don’t want a hassle?” C: “I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings.” P: “Is there also a chance your wife might get angry?” C: “Yes.” P: “And you are uncomfortable with her anger?” C: “Yes, I guess it scares me.” P: “So you don’t want to risk a confrontation

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