Tag: fear

Why do we Lie?

Lying destroys relationships and damages the bonds between human beings. The Journal of Intercultural Communication Research (2016) states that “we all lie, but not all lies are the same. People lie to achieve a goal: WE LIE IF [we believe] HONESTY WON’T WORK. Essentially the truth comes naturally, but lying takes effort and a sharp, flexible mind. Lying is a part of the development process, like walking and talking. Children learn to lie between the ages two and five, and

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Shame on Me

Many of us have grown to adulthood with child-based shame thoughts. Our self confidence can be readily undermined when these “little boy” or “little girl” thoughts creep in. These thoughts seem to have a life of their own and frequently are negative or critical. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning in, Self Esteem, mention that these negative thoughts originate from an internal “pathological critic”. They go on to discuss a number of categories of “cognitive distortions” or exaggerated thoughts. These “tools

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Speak Up Ladies!!

Many women are losing their marriages and they don’t know it. Many women have interpersonal needs, which are not being met in their marital relationship. They probably have friends with whom they share the emotional side of their lives. This helps; however there are needs which can be best met by the marriage partner. When it doesn’t happen the relationship can go “flat”. All too often a woman will not speak openly about her needs. She suffers privately and eventually

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Wake up Guys!!

Many guys are losing their marriages and they don’t know it. Gone is the day when a guy can work and “bring home the bacon” and think that he is fulfilling his role as a husband and father. That may have been what Dad did but it’s not enough anymore (and probably wasn’t then either). I’ve seen the pattern many times. A couple is busy with work and children and do not have much time for each other. The relationship

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To Love is to Prune

Psychologist: “You seem to keep a lot of your concerns to yourself. How about opening up more with your spouse?” Client: “I don’t like to make waves.” P: “You mean you don’t want a hassle?” C: “I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings.” P: “Is there also a chance your wife might get angry?” C: “Yes.” P: “And you are uncomfortable with her anger?” C: “Yes, I guess it scares me.” P: “So you don’t want to risk a confrontation

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The Challenge of Being Single Again

It can be a huge challenge to be “single again” after years of marriage. Divorce rates are at an all time high and may even be getting worse. Many people are alone again after years of being married. Major adjustments need to be made. Some people say they initially like the change because it is a nice break from all the hassling which may have taken place in the dying marriage. It can be very stressful living in a dying

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