Fourfold Benefits of Daily Talktimes

Couples who make time regularly to visit together tend to have happier relationships than those who do not. That is, if both parties are listening effectively. When the daily talktimes go well there are payoffs in at least four areas: stress reduction, improved self worth, friendship and sexual intimacy.

Stress Reduction

Many couples will talk about their day’s activities and find that it

does not work out. Each partner is so different that he/she does not share the same interests and the conversation becomes frustrating.

When a person talks about what his day did to him, he is going to focus on the feelings related to the events of his day. In so doing he will manage to release some tension. When an emotion is focused upon and shared it tends to release. Stress builds up from a multitude of sources and unless it is released effectively, it will lead to problems. Sharing with a friend (or writing in a journal) can be an excellent way to acknowledge and express the tensions of the day. In so doing, the stress level within the speaker is reduced.

Self Worth

When a person opens up with an other and feels “heard” by her/him, it strengthens both people involved. Inner healing comes from opening up about various concerns and eventually letting them go. Self worth will be increased as a result of dealing with and moving beyond sensitive topics.

Daily talks can lead to improved self awareness and through the assistance of the other, improved skills. Growth in these areas improves feelings of self worth. One needs to feel understood before being receptive to the suggestions of a friend.

Friendship

Daily talktimes involve confirming current moods, talking about the moods of the day and discussing business issues. Such exchanges build unity between the participants.

The partners will feel closer having shared themselves on an emotional and cognitive level.

One author has described the goodwill which evolves from such regular conversations as an “emotional bank account”. When the going gets rough it is possible to draw on the positive feelings stored in the account.

Married partners who allow their relationship to go flat will find themselves drifting apart. If either spouse begins to open up with an outside friend, the relationship can begin to feel stronger than the marriage.

Many affairs begin this way.

Daily talktime strengthens friendship only if it happens “daily” or as often as possible. Discipline is required to keep the conversations “scheduled”.

Sexual Intimacy

The female sex drive is often stimulated by the emotional bonding which develops as the result of effective conversation. Certain male drives respond similarly.

In other words daily talktimes can be early stage love making, giving new meaning to these regular chats.

 

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
Fourfold Benefits of Daily Talktimes
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Denis works with couples and individuals. His areas of interest include marriage, grief and stress. He also counsels people who suffer from depression and anxiety symptoms, as well as those struggling with personal growth issues.

Denis is eclectic in his use of psychological approaches, which include Adlerian, cognitive/behavioural, systems, psychodynamic, brief solution focused, existential and emotionally focused therapies.

Denis is a popular speaker who presents talks and workshops on a variety of topics including marriage, grief, retirement, emotional maturity and family relationships. He has published a book titled, “Marriage Can Be Great!…no really.”

Denis was a Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at the University of British Columbia. He helped to start the first hospice program in B.C. in 1975.

Denis received his Master of Arts degree from the University of British Columbia in 1977 and works as a Registered Psychologist. He is a member of the B.C. College of Psychologists and the B.C. Psychological Association.

Most importantly Denis has been married to Maureen for over thirty years and they have four children.

Posted in Marriage & Relationships, Personal Growth, Stress & Anxiety