Couples who make time regularly to visit together tend to have happier relationships than those who do not. That is, if both parties are listening effectively. When the daily talktimes go well there are payoffs in at least four areas: stress reduction, improved self worth, friendship and sexual intimacy.
Many couples will talk about their day’s activities and find that it
does not work out. Each partner is so different that he/she does not share the same interests and the conversation becomes frustrating.
When a person talks about what his day did to him, he is going to focus on the feelings related to the events of his day. In so doing he will manage to release some tension. When an emotion is focused upon and shared it tends to release. Stress builds up from a multitude of sources and unless it is released effectively, it will lead to problems. Sharing with a friend (or writing in a journal) can be an excellent way to acknowledge and express the tensions of the day. In so doing, the stress level within the speaker is reduced.
When a person opens up with an other and feels “heard” by her/him, it strengthens both people involved. Inner healing comes from opening up about various concerns and eventually letting them go. Self worth will be increased as a result of dealing with and moving beyond sensitive topics.
Daily talks can lead to improved self awareness and through the assistance of the other, improved skills. Growth in these areas improves feelings of self worth. One needs to feel understood before being receptive to the suggestions of a friend.
Daily talktimes involve confirming current moods, talking about the moods of the day and discussing business issues. Such exchanges build unity between the participants.
The partners will feel closer having shared themselves on an emotional and cognitive level.
One author has described the goodwill which evolves from such regular conversations as an “emotional bank account”. When the going gets rough it is possible to draw on the positive feelings stored in the account.
Married partners who allow their relationship to go flat will find themselves drifting apart. If either spouse begins to open up with an outside friend, the relationship can begin to feel stronger than the marriage.
Many affairs begin this way.
Daily talktime strengthens friendship only if it happens “daily” or as often as possible. Discipline is required to keep the conversations “scheduled”.
The female sex drive is often stimulated by the emotional bonding which develops as the result of effective conversation. Certain male drives respond similarly.
In other words daily talktimes can be early stage love making, giving new meaning to these regular chats.