Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is an important part of being a healthy, functioning person. It means that you accept all of yourself, your strengths and your weaknesses. You believe in your ability to handle your life' s tasks, you approve of yourself as a person and you refrain from self- criticism.
Self-criticism rarely promotes positive changes because it leads to a feeling of dissatisfaction with yourself and a punitive approach that is often at the root of low self-esteem and destructive patterns of behavior. By accepting who you are in the present moment, personal growth becomes possible. If you don't accept yourself, it is unlikely you will practice the types of behavior that will facilitate happiness and good relationships.
Practicing self-acceptance doesn't mean that you are completely satisfied with yourself or that you become complacent, lazy, conceited or egotistical. When you can accept yourself for better or for worse, you will notice that positive changes will come more easily.
There are three basic steps to self-acceptance.
Catch Yourself Being Self-critical
The first step is to develop an awareness of how you are being self-critical. Is there a chatter box in your head that is saying hurtful things about you? Is it telling you that you are not as good as other people? Do you believe that if others knew the real you, they would not accept you? Become aware of the negative messages you are giving yourself.
Stop Being Self-critical
When you catch yourself being self-critical, the second step is to tell that chatter box to stop. Hear the word "STOP!" inside your head and visualize a big stop sign. Tell the chatterbox, "Go away, I don't need you in my life. I'm a good person."
Replace Self-criticism
The third step to self-acceptance is to replace the self-criticism with more affirming, supportive thoughts. Substitute positive statements about yourself and encouraging remarks that you would use to support a friend. What would you say and do for a friend who was sad, disappointed, stressed or anxious? How can you encourage yourself when you feel that way?
If you make a mistake, focus on what you can learn from it and move on. It is helpful to make a list of twenty positive traits that you have and focus on these rather than on the negative ones.
Learning self-acceptance is difficult for many people. It takes practice but the rewards are great. It is a key to personal happiness and learning to accept others. Daily practicing the three steps with patience and persistence will help you reach your goal. You will begin to see yourself as an acceptable person with a balance of strengths and weaknesses.
