Get More Out of Life
People come to counseling because they want more out of life, something different, a new way of doing things yet they do not have a clear idea of how to bring this about. They may have tried everything they can think of but things are not improving. They may be feeling overwhelmed by the events in their lives. Their coping skills have been stretched to the limit. A catastrophe, loss or trauma may also be the reason people seek counselling. This may be recent or something buried deep in their past.
People can maximize the time put into counselling by building on assets they already possess. Courage, openness, clearly defined goals, accepting personal responsibility, hope, belief that things can change and a support system are some of the assets that a client can bring to counselling or learn during the counselling process.
It takes a great deal of courage to approach a stranger and ask for help. It takes courage to try new strategies and courage to be willing to make mistakes, evaluate what has happened, make adjustments and move on. It takes openness to discuss problems; listen to new ideas; try new behaviours; think about yourself and your life in new ways.
Knowing where we want to go is an important part of ensuring our arrival. Clients may start off with general goals such as wanting more out of life, wanting someone to change, wanting to be happy, wanting to be a better parent or wanting a better marriage, occasionally, they may not have any goals in mind. Clients are asked questions that will help them understand how they will be behaving and thinking differently when they reach their goals. When we begin with the end result clearly stated and understood, the way to move forward becomes clearer and helps ensure that the results of counselling are what the client really want.
In order to effect changes in our lives, it is necessary to accept personal responsibility for bringing about those changes. When we wait for circumstances or another person to change, we adopt a “victim” stance. Accepting personal responsibility for discovering how they can change their life and implementing those discoveries removes clients from a “victim” stance to a stance which is proactive and empowered.
When life is tough, hope helps people believe that somewhere there are answers that will stop the pain and help them obtain the life they desire. Sometimes, people believe that it is only desperation that drives them to seek help, yet, the fact that they have chosen to reach out speaks to the fact that they have not given up, they are still willing to try at least one more thing.
Belief, like hope, can be faint when clients approach their first session. As counselling progresses, clients develop the belief that they will be able to effectively use their newly obtained knowledge to bring about the changes they desire.
Lack of a support system can be a major drawback to success. Counselling will provide support and can be the first step in building a strong support system. Belonging to a support group helps people begin to lose their sense of isolation. It can be a great encouragement to realize that others share the same burden, survive and move on in life,. Belonging to a church, athletic association, social group, or volunteer organization can also provide support. I usually discourage the use of the internet for finding support. There are just too many pitfalls and landmines!
Counselling helps people modify behaviours and attitudes, find solutions, develop skills, and access their inner resources in order to move toward their chosen goals. If clients believe the therapist understands their problems, has the skills to helps and they are ready to build on their personal resources, counselling will probably have a successful outcome.
